Happy kan dia?
Sometimes, I get so busy with my life that I forgot that that I neglected my most precious gift from God.
The other day, I cried my heart out. I stepped into our bedroom only to find out that she had already fallen asleep with an empty milk bottle still in her tiny hand. I did not put her to sleep nor did I prepare the milk warm for her. The milk was prepared few hours before and was on the dressing table. She must have independantly took the bottle, climbed up the bed and drank it to sleep.
She did not cry or even bother us at all. We were so busy ar the momment and we only realised that she was not with us after quite some times.She silently do all that all by herself while us-the parent were so busy doing our own things.
And believe me, that was not the first time.
Have you ever heard that actually before we were born, we actually get to choose who our parent is? Now, I am so ashamed with her because of all the good parents out the she choose us. Us who don't even bother to put her to sleep.. Us who left her early in the morning and only come back to see her again sometimes 5 minutes before midnight..
I feel so ashamed that I cried non stop until my eyes were swollen and red. What did I do to deserve such a sweetheart child? All I ever do was being busy with my damn life. So busy until my not ever two years old child being so independant and put herself to sleep.
She's not even freaking two years old yet! She was supposed to cry for attention before fallen asleep. She was supposed to need her mother's arm and cares that soothes her to sleep.
I love you Rania. I hope you know that. I am no normal mother. I sucks big time. Everything i do so far as your mother was a complete mess. I don't deserve you. You are too good to be true.
But I promise you one thing. From this moment I will not let my busy schedule be an excuse not to be with you. You come first before everything now. Sorry it took me two years to realised that. I hope i'm not too late...
I love you baby.. I really do.
P/S: The trip was obviously because I want to make it up to her ;)