So be it.

I miss my baby so badly but I also have a date with my girlfriends tonight which I don't think is nice for me to back out.

It's hard to be a mum and a girlfriend at a same time.

I do always get together with them and apart from that I spend a few hours getaway with the husband without the baby. Explain why you won't always see my baby with us in my facebook album. Not that I don't want to bring her along but she is too young to follow instruction and I don't feel comfortable meeting with my single friends with me shouting and focusing on the baby.

But one thing do change is that when my single friends get married and have a baby of their own, they will stop hanging around like we used to be and the circle of friend get smaller and smaller. And it left me with an uneasy feeling why I can still hang around but not them. Is that make me a horrible mother who doesn't care about my baby? Do we have to change entirely and only hang out with other parents & brag about our babies 24/7? Why can't we be who we used to be?

So yeah, sometimes I do feel like a bad mother because I live my life to the fullest even though I have a baby.

Or am I?